Monthly Archives: March 2012

PATIENCE!!! This is a hard one to learn

I really struggle with patience. I am a very busy guy and want to jump into things and get it done. I think I am supposed to learn a lesson in patience as my life right now is forcing me to stay put when all instincts are telling me to close my eyes and run full speed ahead. Living on impulses can be fun and spontaneous but hardly the best decision. I googled “how to learn patience” and this site came up with the best answers. If you are anything like me I encourage you to take a few notes 🙂

Figure Out What Makes You Impatient

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    Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we’re multitasking or when we’re on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like…) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you’re stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you’re doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegateresponsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.

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    Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?

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    Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationshipor circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn’t, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

Write it Down

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    Keep a journal. For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 – astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst – the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.

Overcoming Impatience

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    Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathingand you’ll be able to get your bearings.

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    Let go if you can’t do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn’t anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it’s possible, and it’s the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you – waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance – but you should be able to alleviate impatience that’s caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you’ll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

See the Big Picture

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    Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don’t like to waste time. However, some things just can’t be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn’t immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you’re impatient, you’re more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don’t come right away.

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    Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.

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    Always remember that you will eventually get what you want. (This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!) If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.

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    Always have a positive outlook in life. Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.