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Fear and Excitement

We have all, at some point in our life, been afraid of something. Whether it is the boogeyman, a new job, a move, or coming face-to-face with your fear of heights, we have all experienced the undesirable feelings of fear. A feeling that speeds through every inch of your body and consumes your thoughts and alters your reality. As human nature is to go along the path of least resistance, it is no surprise that we often run away from our fears.

But what really happens when we run away? We do not grow stronger, we miss out on opportunities for growth and strength and most of all, fun. Growing up I often confused fear for excitement and I missed out on a lot of opportunities. So, here is my challenge to help you determine if something is actually dangerous and shouldn’t be attempted or if you should confirm the feeling is actually excitement and not fear…

1) Ask yourself if  this activity will physically harm you body, mind or soul?

2) Are you afraid of an actual, physical thing, or a thought or idea? (scared of the thought of dying by jumping out of a plane, or are you scared of the plane)

3) What is the worst that could happen if you go through with it, and if you don’t go through with it?

4) Take control of your thoughts and change your attitude about it. Rather than being fearful, go out and dominate your fear better than anyone else. I was going to jump out of an airplane once and I was having a meltdown and a psychologist told me to change my fear into thoughts of being the best jumper out of airplanes…EVER! And it worked! My fears melted away as I was determined to jump out of that airplane like it was something I had done a million times.

Attitude plays such a big role in our lives. It is the largest factor in determining whether or not you will live a life of happiness and excitement, or fear and sadness. The next time you are feeling fearful, ask yourself those 3 questions and most importantly…change your attitude about it.

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I do not care how far-fetched, silly, out of this world your dream is…It CAN happen. I am saddened at the fact that every day I see 828 elementary students and I ask them, “What is your dream?” and 80% of the responses are “I don’t know.” What happened to our imagination? Why aren’t schools piggy-backing on the energy of a students dreams to motivate learning? What is even worse is that by the time these students hit high school and college, that 80% turns into 99%. We live in a time where everything is at our fingertips and any small desire of a dream is washed away with any hiccup or bump in the road. Well, I have a suggestion to help make your dream a reality!

You may think you have nothing in your life, or you may be blessed and have anything you desire. Either way, you can still benefit from this solution. I have the dream to become a motivational speaker and inspire K-12 and college students believe in themselves. Instead of letting my dream remain a dream I have began to take action. Instead of waiting for an opportunity to fall into my lap, I have used the world around me to create my dream. Now, I may not be getting bookings but I am ready for it when I do! I have written my speeches, I have purchased a presentation board and drew out different activities on its pages. I have even written letters to myself pretending I am someone else who has benefited from my presentation. I have 5 letters ranging from experiences and benefits. One is from a single mother who gave up on the possibility of an education, another from a high school student who is adopted and doesn’t have any self-worth.

So, if you want to be a singer, make a fake microphone and go through the motions as if you were a famous singer on tour. Make your schedule of cities you want to tour to. If you want to be a pilot begin surrounding yourself and making your life look like you imagine it to be.

Every great accomplishment started as a thought. With a little hope it became a dream. With a little faith, the dream became within reach. With a little love, it became a reality.

PATIENCE!!! This is a hard one to learn

I really struggle with patience. I am a very busy guy and want to jump into things and get it done. I think I am supposed to learn a lesson in patience as my life right now is forcing me to stay put when all instincts are telling me to close my eyes and run full speed ahead. Living on impulses can be fun and spontaneous but hardly the best decision. I googled “how to learn patience” and this site came up with the best answers. If you are anything like me I encourage you to take a few notes 🙂

Figure Out What Makes You Impatient

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    Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we’re multitasking or when we’re on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like…) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you’re stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you’re doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegateresponsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.

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    Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?

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    Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationshipor circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn’t, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

Write it Down

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    Keep a journal. For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 – astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst – the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.

Overcoming Impatience

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    Overcome bouts of impatience. In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind. Concentrate on breathingand you’ll be able to get your bearings.

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    Let go if you can’t do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn’t anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it’s possible, and it’s the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you – waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance – but you should be able to alleviate impatience that’s caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you’ll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

See the Big Picture

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    Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don’t like to waste time. However, some things just can’t be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn’t immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you’re impatient, you’re more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don’t come right away.

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    Remember what matters. Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.

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    Always remember that you will eventually get what you want. (This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!) If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.

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    Always have a positive outlook in life. Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Love

Love According to Children…

“Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.”

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”

“Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.”

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

“When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you’re scared they won’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.”

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.”

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”

“Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.”

“Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”  

Love According to the Bible…

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love According to the Dictionary…

love

<a onmousedown=”spk(this,{lk:’nx1fkx’,en:’wotdau’,io:’0′,b:’wotd’,tp:’lrl’,m:’wotdau’})” href=”#”></a><a target=”_blank” href=”http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/L03/L0390900″><img border=”0″ src=”http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/speaker.gif”></a> /lʌv/ Show Spelled [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.

sexual passion or desire.
4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.

(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
Love…
So…what is love?  I could go on for hours talking about love but I’ll keep it simple. It can be everywhere and everything, a feeling, an action, an emotion…But here is the funny thing…At the core of every action, is love. We all pursue it, write songs about it, make movies to tell about it. A father works long hours in grueling jobs because he loves his family, a young boy carefully creates a Valentine for his crush, a young man helps a stranger cross the street, we are all driven by love, for love. As girlie as it may sound, its the reason we are here and the reason why we live the lives we do. I’ve learned a few things in my short 25 years and its this…Love life, love what you do, find what you are passionate about and love every second you have. Love those around you and cherish your relationships, love the good times, love the bad times…If you look closely, you will see that love truly is all around.

Leadership Quotes

I have noticed that we need more positive leaders in the world. Being a great leader is difficult and you have to have a different frame of mind, be able to understand people, be a visionary, disciplined and have the gift to inspire. Here are some amazing quotes I found from simpletruths.com that all deal with leadership.

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.
Warren G. Bennis

Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
Peter Drucker

One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.
Arnold H. Glasgow

Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.
James Baldwin

If you want to know why your people are not performing well, step up to the mirror and take a peek.
Ken Blanchard

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality, the last is to say ‘Thank you. In between the two, the leaders must become a servant.
Max De Pree

They don’t care how much you know until they now how much you care.
Theodore Roosevelt

The greatest management principle in the world is: the things that get rewarded and appreciate get done.
Michael LeBoeuf

Excellence is…caring more than others think is wise;
Risking more than others think is safe;
Dreaming more than others think is practical.
Expecting more than others think is possible.

Winston Churchill

You get the best efforts from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within.
Bob Nelson

Quality is never an accident: It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution. It represents the wise choice of many alternatives.
William A. Foster

Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.
Robert Townsend

A leader’s job is to look into the future and see the organization not as it is, but as it should be.
Jack Welch

Giving people a little more than they expect is a good way to get back a lot more than you’d expect.
Robert Half

The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.
Zig Ziglar

To lead the people, walk behind them.
Lao Tzu